Life Articles

Featured in the "Recipes for Success" e-zine
by Cecile Peterkin, International Career Coach

NOTE: You're welcome to "reprint" an article online as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including the "about the author" info below), and you email a copy of your reprint to:
articles@cosmiccoachingcentre.com

About the Author

Cecile Peterkin is a Certified Career and Life Coach. She publishes "Recipes for Success", a F*ree monthly e-zine on how to achieve success and live your best life, personally and professionally. Cecile is also author of The Career Athlete, an e-book on managing your career. Sign up now for Cecile's F*ree e-course "7 Steps to Success" and visit Cecile's website for more information http://www.CosmicCoachingCentre.com

Index

Seven Ways to Create the Life You Want
Goal Setting
Goal Setting for Kids
Making a Change in Your Life - What it Takes
Writing Your Personal Mission/Vision Statement
Self Awareness Quiz
Setting Yourself Up for Success
Teaching Values to your Kids

Seven Ways to Create the Life You Want

Keep work in perspective - remember how you left work on time in the summer?
Change a routine task - develop a new process. Instead of handling your e-mails as you get them, set aside specific times during the day to respond.
Set boundaries - you don't have to attend every meetings you are invited to or sign up for every project. Choose the meetings you can add value to or benefit from.
Manage your stress - identify what causes you stress and how it affects you.
Take time out - close your door (if you have one), call forward your phone, turn off your e-mail, take a walk. Use this time "during your work day" to prepare for a big meeting, a presentation or work on a project.
Delegate - are you spending too much time on the administrative process of your job and not utilizing your skills to benefit your long-term goals and your company's goals?
Work/Play Balance - what did you enjoy doing during the summer that you want to continue (going to the movies, playing tennis, volunteering, spending time with your kids, seeing friends, etc.)? Put it on your schedule.

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Goal Setting

Goal setting doesn’t have to be an arduous task. In fact, setting goals can, and should, be fun. You can experience feelings of fulfillment, and success, but I requires commitment on your part - acknowledging your fears ( the worst case scenario), taking risks, allowing for challenges and detours, and most of all, giving yourself time.

In the words of Gladys Tabor; “We need time to dream, time to remember, and time to reach the infinite. Time to be.”

Your goals should be “SMART”

“S” - Specific
“M”- Measurable
“A” - Attainable
“R” - Realistic
“T” - Timely

Goal setting is most effective if you lay out a pathway for achieving your goals. This allows you to determine the steps you need to take to be successful, and see your progress.

Goal Setting Process

Start your goal setting process by creating a list of your dreams (things you would like to do). These dreams will become your goals. How do you do this?

From your list of dreams pick the ten most exciting things (these are now your goals) and add dates that you would like to do them by. For each dream (goal) go back and set intermediate or half-way goals. List short-term goals that will contribute to your accomplishment of the intermediate goals.

There is no limit to the number of goals that you set, just make sure they are realistic and attainable, and that you are committed to them.

Things to Consider: What are the ten places you must visit before you die?

What ten events would you really love to experience firsthand? (events that would be so awesome that you would talk about them for the rest of your life)

What ten skills would you most like to acquire (personal and/or professional)?

What five things would give you the greatest sense of accomplishments in your business life?

What ten things would give you the greatest sense of accomplishment in your personal life?

What would you like your family to experience over the next five years? (private school, trips, etc.)

What type of physical shape would you like to be in?

How much money would you like to earn per year? (what amount would provide your family with everything you need, plus enough left over for savings).

What does your dream home look like? (location, no. of bedrooms, bathrooms, decor, etc.)

After putting dates to your ten most exciting goals and setting intermediate goals, your short term goals are now the goals you want to achieve this year.

Short term Goals

List 10 of the Biggest Opportunities/Goals for 2003 that you can commit to.

This includes all areas of your life, family, financial, career, business, social, your body, learning, personal development, environments, recreation, adventures.

A Successful Environment
In order to achieve your goals, you must set yourself up for success. To do this, you want to make your life as friction free as possible. This means taking an honest look at the things or elements in your life that you may need to let go of, or restructure, that will simplify your life and allow for the success and fulfillment you so deserve.

Consider the following questions and see if/where you need to make some changes in order to achieve your goals.

Social/Emotional
Who are you going to spend time with who will encourage you, provide strength when you need it and who will help you evolve?

Physical Environment/ Activities
What will you use (physical and virtual) to keep you focused and on track? Look at your Daily Habits; Where do you need to make adjustments (additions, deletions), and what is working for you?

Something to remember:
A goal is a landmark to use as you move forward in life. It is a way of measuring progress and evaluating the effectiveness of your actions. Not reaching your goal by a target date is an opportunity to re-evaluate your strategies, commitments and the goals themselves. If you discover that you are not committed to a goal (which is OK), it may be that it is not something you really want. If this is the case, recognizing it allows you to put your energy into something you do want, and that you can be committed to.

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Goal Setting for Kids

Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However, teaching kids how to set and achieve goals is not part of most school curriculums, nor is it taught in most homes. Many parents never learned the techniques of goal setting, and are still struggling with their own. You don't need to know it all. While you develop your own goal-setting skills, you can also be helping and encouraging your children to develop theirs. Goal setting is a life-long skill. It helps your child to focus their unique gifts and talents, it helps to cultivate and strengthening your child's self-worth, and equips them to lead a life full of meaning purpose, and direction, regardless of the professional or personal paths they choose.

Things to consider when setting goals with your kids CAREER - school grades, skill development, future plan (ambition); PERSONAL- character development, and personal growth (self-image, sense of responsibility, ability, sefl-esteem), appearance; HEALTH - exercise, diet, over-all well-being, balance; COMMUNITY - commitment to serving others (volunteer work); FINANCIAL - understanding the value of money, earning, saving; FRIENDS - expanding their circle of friends, choosing friends wisely; HOUSEHOLD - chores, contribution to building home life; RECREATION - hobbies, relaxation, fun activities (movies, parties, etc.) ,

Things to remember Expect resistance; Be firm; Look for performance, not perfection; Kids need to see the end before they begin (incentive - what will happen if...); Kids need rewards; Kids need praise.

Results As kids learn how to set goals and experience the difference goal setting makes in their personal destinies, it will encourage them to take action. They will begin to create lives for themselves that they want and "Dare to live their Dreams!" As your kids become more aware of greater possibilities in their lives, and tap into their respective talents they will develop a stronger sense of self and of their contribution to society.

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Making a Change in your Life - What it Takes

Get honest and focused about what you really want. This will bring clarity to where it is best to put your time, energy, and resources. You must also face the fact that the biggest obstacle on your way to achieving success is you. Brian Tracy said,"The potential of the average person is like a huge ocean un-sailed, a new continent unexplored, a world of possibilities waiting to be released and channeled toward some great good." His words are part of my belief system and the foundation of my coaching practice. This is why I enjoy seeing my clients having fun discovering things about themselves, doing things they love and fear, creating value for themselves and gaining control of their own life.

Think back: what have been your three most fulfilling accomplishments in life thus far, that you did not think were possible? Think of the mental barriers, no matter how small, that you had to overcome to achieve these three things.

Success in life depends on you. You are in control of the outcome. Whatever path you take in your life is of your own choosing. Whether it seem like it or not, even letting someone else take control of your life requires your consent on some level. You are the source of your own failure or success. You do not need anyone's permission to change your life. The power to do so is within you. Remember: your skills, talents, knowledge, experience and attitude are the most valuable assets you have. Use them!

Getting good support makes it easier to make better choices. If you need support, a Personal Coach can help.

Find out more....
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Launch It...Make It Happen
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"There is no security in life, only opportunity."
Mark Twain

Change is easier than you think. Do you realize that your beliefs drive the way you respond to life, yourself and others? Therefore, give yourself the opportunity to discover your true capabilities.

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Writing your Personal Vision/Mission Statement

I recently spent some time revising my personal vision/mission statement for my coaching practice. While doing this, it occurred to me that the vision I have for my work is closely related to my personal vision. Having a job that reflects my personal vision is powerful because it has allowed me to create a business life for myself that truly reflects who I am. Companies know all about vision and mission statements and getting their employees on board. Vision and mission statements propel the company in the direction that they want, and ultimately towards success. Many of us have spent countless hours working on these statements for our employers, and doing our part to contribute to their vision as apart of the team. Much like a business, we, as human beings have a purpose or mission in life. What if we spent as much time getting to know who we are and what we want for ourselves? A personal vision/mission statement is the framework for creating a powerful life. Unlike a goal, a vision or mission rarely changes. It is a reason for our existence. It guides us in the decisions we make and the directions we take.

Your Personal Vision - Close your eyes and picture yourself in the future. It may be a few months or years from today. See the person you are; what you are doing, who you are with, what you have accomplished, what is important to you, and how people relate to you. How does it feel to be you? Feel the person you are, your true self. Now, open your eyes and see your life and yourself in the present, through those eyes. You will begin to notice the changes you need to make to honour this vision and lead a powerful life. A Personal Vision is a picture of your True Self in the future. An effective personal vision includes all the important elements of your life and career; it is who you want to be, what you want to do, how you want to feel, what you want to own, and who you want to associate with. Although your personal vision helps you to see into the future, it must be grounded in the present. It is a statement of who you are, and who you are becoming. It is the framework for the process of creating your life. Your vision is where you are headed, how you get there is your mission statement.

Your Personal Mission Statement - A Personal Mission Statement is how you will manifest your Personal Vision in your daily life. It may be a few words or several pages, but it is not a "to do" list. It reflects your uniqueness and must speak to you powerfully about the person you are and the person you are becoming. Remember, it's okay to be where you are, while heading somewhere else. In fact, the only place you can start, is where you are right now. Having a personal vision does not mean your life changes overnight. But it will change. Your personal mission statement provides the steps to get you there. Your Personal Mission Statement should answer three questions: 1. What is my life about (Purpose)? 2. What do I stand for (Values)? 3. What actions do I take to manifest my Purpose and my Values? Stephen Covey writes that an empowering Mission Statement: Represents the deepest and best within you. It comes out of a solid connection with your deep inner life. Is the fulfillment of your own unique gifts. It's the expression of your unique capacity to contribute. Addresses and integrates the four fundamental human needs and capacities in the physical, social/emotional, mental and spiritual dimensions. Deals with all the significant roles in your life. It represents a lifetime balance of personal, family, work, community-whatever roles you feel are yours to fill. Is written to inspire you-not to impress anyone else. It communicates to you and inspires you on the most essential level.

"Creating a Personal Mission Statement will be, without question, one of the most powerful and significant things you will ever do to take leadership of you life. In it you will identify the most important roles, relationships, and things in your life - who you want to be, what you want to do, to whom and what you want of give your life, the principles you want to anchor your life to, the legacy you want to leave. All the goals and decisions you will make in the future will be based upon it. It's like deciding first which wall you want to lean your ladder of life against, and then beginning to climb. It will be a compass - a strong source of guidance amid the stormy seas and pressing, pulling currents of you life." says Stephen Covey, author or The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

A Personal Vision/Mission can help propel you into a new job, or make your present job work better for you. The more connected your Personal Vision/Mission is to yourself, the better it can guide your career and your life.

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Self Awareness Quiz

Is your life simply happening without deep design on your part? I invite you to take the Self Awareness Quiz below. Explore and live the questions.

Are you getting what you want out of life?
When was the last time you had some fun?
What gives you the greatest sense of joy, aliveness, motivation or excitement?
How are you growing personally and professionally?
What are you tolerating?
Has your profession or business become your life?
If you felt free, had no fear and no guilt, what work would you love to create or do?
Where do you get your energy? Is it healthy?
As a child, what did you most often dream of doing or being when you grew up? What happened to these dreams and ideas?
What area in your life would you like to see change?

I look forward to hearing what transpires for you! If you would like to share this experience, please e-mail me at cecile@cosmiccoachingcentre.com or call 416-782-5001.

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Setting Yourself Up For Success

Most people want to be successful in life. But success can mean different things to different people: making more money; spending quality time with your family; or learning to play a musical instrument. Since success is personal, defining what it means for you is the first step to achieving it. Once you are clear about what success looks like for you, here are some important points to help you achieve it.

Steps to Success

Know your Potential: In order to succeed at anything you need to see that you have the potential to reach your goals
Understand your Goal: List three or four reasons why you want to achieve this goal? What is the result you want to obtain?
Set Realistic Goals & Timelines: Often times we want overnight success. Make sure your goals and the time frame you have set are realistic.
Create a Plan: This is by far the most important document of all. It allows you to keep track of everything involving your goal.
No Shortcuts: Shortcuts are sloppy and compromise your work and your integrity. “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.”
Have Courage: Depending on what success means to you, you will have to have courage to stand up for what you believe and desire to do, even if it means disappointing others.
Stay Motivated: It is critical to stay motivated when striving for the big goal of success. Motivational tools will help you stay on track.
Be Passionate: Have passion for what you are doing and working toward. You will automatically put more effort into it.
No Excuses: If you want something badly enough, there is always a way!
No Fear: Fear of Failure is a normal emotion for everyone. How you get past the fear determines whether you experience success.
Create Opportunities: Make things happen rather than waiting for opportunities to find you.
Attitude: A good attitude will allow you to turn any bad situation into a learning experience. Staying positive and surrounding yourself with friends that share a positive attitude will help you succeed.
Make the Best of Each Day: Make the most of every day and accomplish something - even if it’s something small. Every baby step counts towards your success.
Set Daily Goals: Setting daily goals keeps you on track. Seeing your progress will help keep you going.
Accept Responsibility: You will have help in many instances; however, the bottom line is that you are responsible for the choices you will make.
Be Open to Improvement: Accept that you do not have all the answers and more importantly, be open to recommendations from other people.
Paint a Picture: A great way to keep working toward your goal is to picture what it will look like when you are successful.
Identify Procrastinations: If you have a problem with procrastination, make a list of distractions you routinely choose, so you can recognize when you are off course and get back on track.
Want versus Need: Do it because you want it, not because you need it. When you want something, it requires and creates intention, desire, and action – all powerful tools for being successful (doing something out of need usually leads to pain, stress, and frustration).
Believe in yourself: Your confidence is what will get you through the challenges.
Be Efficient: Use your time and effort wisely.
Have Balance in your Life: Make the time for both hard work and pleasure.
Have Fun: Fun is a crucial element of success, but one that often forgotten once we get into the process. Find fun and joy in what you are doing, even in the midst of the challenges.

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Teaching Values to your Kids

Values are ideals that guide or qualify your personal conduct, interaction with others, and involvement in your career. They help you to distinguish what is right from wrong.

It stands to reason then, that teaching values to your children is an important part of being a parent. Values make our society safe and workable, and instilling them in our kids is the most significant and effective thing we can do for their happiness. Studies show that morality and value-oriented behaviour helps a child develop a sense of autonomy, independence, and confidence.

Values can be classified into four categories:

Personal
Cultural
Social
Work

Personal Values are principles that define you as an individual, and determine how you will face the world and relate with people. Personal Values include honesty, reliability and trust.

Cultural Values help you feel connected to a larger community of people with similar backgrounds. Cultural values include the practice of your faith and customs. They are the principles that maintain your connection with your cultural roots.

Social Values are principles that indicate how you relate meaningfully to others in social situations, including those involving family, friends and co-workers.

Work Values are principles that guide your behaviour, projects and contexts. They define how you work and how you relate to your co-workers, bosses, and clients. They also reveal your potential for advancement.

The four categories consist of 12 Universal Values:

Honesty
Courage
Peaceability
Self-reliance and Potential
Self-Discipline and Moderation
Fidelity and Chastity
Loyalty and Fidelity
Respect
Love
Unselfishness and Sensitivity
Kindness and Friendliness
Justice and Mercy

Honesty – with other individuals, with institutions, with society, and with oneself.
Courage – daring to attempt difficult things. The strength not to follow the crowd, and to say no and mean it.
Peaceability – understanding that differences are seldom resolved through conflict, and meanness in others is an indication of their problem or insecurity. Controlling your temper.
Self-Reliance and Potential – awareness and development of your gifts and uniqueness. Taking responsibility for your own actions. Overcoming the tendency to blame other for difficulties. Commitment to personal excellence.
Self-Discipline and Moderation – physical, mental, & financial self-discipline. Moderation in speaking & in eating. Understanding the limits of body and mind. The ability to balance self-discipline with spontaneity.
Fidelity and Chastity – teach your kids the value and security of fidelity. Give them a grasp of the long-range and widespread consequences that can result from sexual immorality and infidelity. This is an instruction, rather than a definition.
Loyalty and Dependability – loyalty to family and other organizations and institutions to which commitments are made. Reliability and consistency in doing what you say you will do.
Respect - for life, property, parents, elders, nature. Respect for the beliefs and rights of others. Self-respect and the avoidance of self-criticism.
Love - for friends, neighbors, family, even adversaries. Individual and personal caring that goes beyond loyalty and respect.
Unselfishness and Sensitivity – becoming more extra-centered and less self-centered. Sensitivity to the needs of others and of situations. Empathy, tolerance, brotherhood.
Kindness and Friendliness – awareness that being kind and considerate is more admirable than being tough or strong. The tendency to understand rather than confront. The ability to make and keep friends. Helpfulness. Cheerfulness.
Justice and Mercy – An understanding of natural consequences. Obedience to the law, fairness in work and play.

Values should be taught to children of all ages with differing agendas and changing emphasis as they mature. Values are best taught in the home, since parents are the best exemplars and instructors. Parents should consciously develop their own set of family values, and consciously teach these to their children – leading by example and also taking the time to explain.

Children may develop values different from those you tried to teach them. However, they will do so with a solid foundation, and with a basis of comparison.

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